I didn't even realize that it was conference time again until I was just surfing around Blogspot. I came across http://www.mormonmommywars.com/. One of their forums was about President Uchtdorf and the talk he gave in the Relief Society Broadcast for this conference. I didn't even know it had already happened when I saw this. They all wrote about how wonderful and inspiring the talk was. President Uchtdorf inspires me already, so I knew the talk had to be fantastic.
I search around looking for the talk printed out, but I couldn't find it anywhere. So finally I realized that since it just happened Saturday, it is still on the LDS website for me to watch.
I turn on his talk, and I instantly feel at peace. It felt like every word he was saying was meant for me. I rarely get this feeling when I listen to conferences and such. I have only gotten it two or three times in my whole life. I always feel the spirit, but the difference is knowing and feeling.
As I listened to his words, every one touched my heart. The past few months have been terribly hard for me. I have wallowed in self-pity, and I know I have annoyed some people with it. However, I just couldn't help it. My life just sucked that bad, right?
But I was wrong. As I listened to his talk, he spelled everything out for me. I have not felt this much at peace in a very long time. I have realized that life happens, but what is the point of wallowing around in our self-doubt and self-pity when we can be helping others? The one true way to be happy is to help others in their times of need.
I remember what it is like all those times I used to do service projects for Young Women's activities. How I used to feel when I did something nice for someone else. How it felt to not complain when everything seemed at their worst.
My cousin once told me about how she went through a severe depression for a long time, because all she did was lower herself down to nothing. One day she realized what she was doing and made the effort to stop. Every day she would call herself a winner and go from there. Pretty soon she was smiling again and she truly felt like a winner despite all of her shortcomings and faults.
No one is perfect. But isn't our church about striving to be perfect, not being perfect itself? We can truly be better people by just trying. God doesn't ask for more than that. The child's song says it better than I ever could.
I'm trying to be like Jesus, I'm following in his way. I'm trying to love as he did, in all that I do and say. At times I am tempted to make the wrong choice, but I try to listen as the still small voice whispers, Love one another as Jesus loves you. Try to show kindness in all that you do. Be gentle and loving in deed and in though. For these are the things Jesus taught.
Only a child's song could put it so perfectly. How can I be like Jesus if all I do is wallow in my own doubt? How is this helping anyone? It brings everyone around me down and makes me less and less like the person I want to become.
President Uchtdorf is completely right. God is always with you, but you have to put yourself aside to see his love. We are his glorious creation. How can we be grateful for this if we never see his love for us and we do not show our love for him?
It is amazing what a few words will do to your heart.