Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Kal El's Real Daddy

Superman is the epitomy of a super hero, because everything he does is super. He is super fast, super smart, and super good, always upholding the law, letting the criminals know while they will never be punished forcefully, they will go to jail time after time on his watch.

He is pretty much the perfect man.

Or is he?

If you look back in the 1970's, you'll find that Christopher Reeves was trained to be the Man of Steel by the original bad ass in the black cape.

Yes folks, you guessed right. Darth Vader himself.

You heard me right. Superman's real daddy was also Luke's daddy. Coinsidence? I think not.

And it explains a few things about Superman. Deep down in his center, he is using the dark side of the force. Think about it. Siths always have some sort of extra super power that Jedi's don't. Most of them shoot lightning. Superman doesn't need lightning however, because he can shoot LASER BEAMS out of his eyes.

And have you ever wondered why Lex Luther is bald? Darth Vader has the ability to crush someone's throat with his mind. But since Superman has to appear good, he sticks it to Lex the most ruthless way possible. Lex will go to his grave bald and shiny. Not exactly the best chick magnet.

In addition, everyone says Superman is the perfect gentleman. But let's face it, the only reason he never asks a girl what color underwear she has on is because he can see them anyway!! (Think about that when you see a guy checking you out on the street next time...)

And let's face it. In the last movie, he even has a bastard child.

In short, we have discovered Superman's real kryptonite.

His dark side.